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Audrey JoAnn | Content and Copy Writer

Compelling Copy for Female Founders

YOUR PRODUCTION DOES NOT EQUAL YOUR WORTH

July 12, 2018

When I moved from my full-time job in Dallas to being a nanny and freelancer in Nashville, I went through a sort of identity crisis. Same thing happened when I went from those jobs in Nashville to just freelancing and working on my own (currently wages-less) writing projects in Austin.

Stepping out of that societal norm of 9-to-5 work in a corporate setting felt unusual and unsettling, like I was doing something wrong. I personally liked my new schedule more, but I was self-conscious about what others might be thinking, whether or not they thought this journalism graduate from a private Texas university was another millennial who couldn’t figure out what she wanted.

I started to base my self-views around this perceived judgement that may not have even been accurate. And even if it was, even if people did think that, it didn’t matter. (Or, at least, it shouldn’t have.) After all, I felt better with my new schedule and not having to sit at a desk all day long, and I was making a better income, enough to live off of, and save and invest. I was pursuing career goals that I actually wanted, instead of wondering how many months I could make it before quitting.

Nannying and freelancing, this odd combination that somehow worked well together for me, was much better-suited for my lifestyle than my job before. But, still, I knew I didn’t want to be a nanny forever, and I adore the family I worked for in Nashville. The thought of working for another felt like a less dramatic version of cheating on them, and when John graduated and got his job offer in Austin, it posed a natural transition for me to go into full-time writing and editing.

My dream! Hallelujah! Finally, I could step into who I’ve been planning and waiting to be.

The only problem during my first official week of self-employment was that pesky, irrational self-consciousness about what others could be thinking about my current situation. I would sit at my desk every morning, write out my to-do list, and get to work. And, then, my dog would scratch the door behind me because she wanted to play, or I’d remember we have no groceries for dinner that night, or I’d remember I had to water the plants outside so the Texas heat wouldn’t scorch them to smithereens.

I’ve never had such workweek freedom in my adult life, and likewise, I’ve never had such a test of my time management. I found myself working for a few hours, then taking a break to workout or run errands, then getting mad at myself for that stuff taking too long and cutting into my work time, then forcing myself to sit back down at my desk, then beating myself for the time “lost” doing things that are also responsibilities and important to making my life and John’s functional.

This, my friends, is what we call spiraling. I’ve done a lot of it, and it’s a tough habit to snap out of.

I understand how privileged I am to have this newfound autonomy over my days, yet I get real down on myself if I feel I don’t do “enough.” What that threshold for “enough” is, I’m not even certain. Is it writing 1,000 words? Is it planning my next big project or snagging my next big freelance client?

I also get into that space where I begin to assume what other people might be thinking about me: my lack of success as a writer, my past failures, my ungratefulness for my current work circumstances.

I was venting/complaining to my mom about this one day, and she apologized to me. She said, “I’m so sorry. You’ve really taken after me. But please know this: There is something powerful about realizing your worth is not determined by what you produce or how much you produce.”

Your production does not control the fate of your value. MY production does not control the fate of MY value. And this came from Miss Do It All Herself and Be Successful at All the Things. She has always encouraged me to be the best, hardest working version of me, to not let excuses slow me down. But she was saying that it’s okay to not get everything done, to not crush every goal within the timeline you set, to not have a perfect day of work and personal life structure and performance.

Hey, want to know what is actually an automatic killer of producing quality work, whether you’re a writer or in any other field? Measuring your success by how much you get done on any day, week, or year. If authors who got dozens of manuscripts turned down before snagging their big break determined their value by those initial outcomes, they would never have gotten to that big break; it’s too much to deal with. If authors who wrote a number-one bestseller on their first shot determined their value by that initial outcome, they’d never write a quality piece of work again; it’s too much to live up to.

My mom, who is a serious go-getter herself, gave me permission to redefine my version of success with one simple sentence. There will certainly be days where I get my to-do list done, and then some. Same for you. There will also be days where I take it easy, procrastinate, or outside events slow me down. Same for you.

But, at the end of each day, it’s not about how many checkmarks line our lists or even how much stuff we accomplish. Our value comes from who we are.

I am a compassionate woman who wants the best for everyone around me. I work hard, but I also need breaks. I don’t have my career figured out, but I am so thoroughly overjoyed to have realized young and in a big way how important writing is to me. I like to make sure my house is clean, we have healthy food to eat, and my fiancé and dog feel loved by me. I also like to build my business as a freelancer, work on extracurricular creative projects, and grow personally and professionally wherever I can.

All of these things take time, and I am figuring out how to toe the line between passionate writer, loving family member and friend, and an, let’s be honest, average household runner. All three are important pieces that make up of my life, but none are worth beating myself up over if I’m not perfect in each arena on a daily basis.

Maybe you needed that reminder or, if you’re like me, brand new lesson that your worth isn’t based on production. Where in your career or personal life can you give yourself a little more grace? I’d love to hear how you deal with this inner battle in an email, or comment below!

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Welcome! I'm Audrey, and I adore connecting with female founders and telling their stories in a way that matters & lasts for years to come.

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audskelton

Me, trying to figure out what to do with my hands Me, trying to figure out what to do with my hands without a bump. 👐🏼 Wallace, trying to figure out what we’re doing out of the house. 🤨

First family walk in the books! All of 10 minutes. 🤪 (Also, does anyone else notice the rainbow over Wally?... My heart. 🌈🥺)
1 week old. 🤎 The hardest, most emotional & mos 1 week old. 🤎 The hardest, most emotional & most rewarding week of my life. Babies’ sleep schedules, y’all. They are not for the faint of heart.

Wallace is hitting all his milestones, has learned the alphabet, and is picking up Latin. Just kidding. But he CAN poop 3 times in an hour and a half 😎, and he eats like a champ, is so strong that we prefer to tag team diaper changes for now, and makes the sweetest, cutest noises all day long. (And night.) Like even his cry is cute. 😩

One of my friends called this time the “wet weeks”: urine, breast milk, spit up, night sweats, tears, blood, more tears. It’s a lot, and it’s temporary. So even in the hard moments, we are reminding ourselves that the hardest things are often the best things. 

And this really has been the best thing.

So, so thankful for a hands-on husband who’s been so involved in everything... there’s something indescribable about watching your partner care for your child and step into a big, new role like this so gracefully. And we are thankful for ALL of the support, near and far (... mostly far), from our family and friends and coworkers. What a week... here’s to continuing to figure it all out together as a family. 😌
At 5 a.m. my water broke and at 3:44 p.m. our worl At 5 a.m. my water broke and at 3:44 p.m. our worlds and hearts were changed forever. Everything in between was a gritty, fast-moving tidal wave of emotion, pain, instinct, and a kind of love I never could’ve imagined.

Welcome, Wallace Ronal Skelton. 🤎 You kept us waiting until you decided, very quickly, you’d like to be here. I’m still in disbelief that you are ours. 

January 4, 2021 • 7 lbs 4 oz • 20.5 inches • Sweet as can be.
Well, this baby friend doesn’t exactly have our Well, this baby friend doesn’t exactly have our sense of punctuality which realllly threw me for a loop after thinking & saying for months that I was certain he/she would get here early. I’ve drank 3 boxes of raspberry leaf tea in 3 weeks, walked dozens of miles, eaten way too many dates, done hundreds of squats and bench step-ups... and now I’m surrendering. You come whenever you feel like it, little one. I’m comfy enough and can still sleep through the night (minus a bathroom break or two) so we will just keep on waiting and letting you teach us our first lesson of parenthood: PATIENCE. I knew I could always use some more of it. 😉 #40weekspregnant #pregnancy
scenes from our blissful, muddy, much-needed morni scenes from our blissful, muddy, much-needed morning hike. ☀️🍂 in a year that’s felt like 5, getting outside whenever we can has been my favorite way to reset. so thankful to live in such gorgeous surroundings!
our first and probably only christmas just us thre our first and probably only christmas just us three! quiet and simple and a little sad but mostly filled with hope and gratitude. hope yours is special in all the best ways. 🤍
the most freeing parenting advice i’ve heard so the most freeing parenting advice i’ve heard so far? (and i’ve gotten a lot this year!) our children NEED to see us to mess up. they need to see us walk through mistakes, fix our messes, apologize, learn, and readjust.

as someone who very much realizes i’m nowhere *near* perfect but is also terrified something i’ll do might mess my kid up for life... hearing this advice has stuck with me so profoundly. i think about it every day, especially as we get closer and closer to becoming parents.

we don’t need to get it right. in fact, we’re serving them better when we get it wrong AND course correct openly. when we can admit our faults and say we’ll do better next time.

i had a friend tell me a few months ago she apologizes to her baby all the time. she’ll say, “i’m sorry that i really don’t know what you need right now, but i’m learning... i’m sorry that you’re upset, let’s figure this out together.”

and i thought that was a beautiful way to own and lean into the truth that parenting isn’t having the answers all figured out—at all. it’s guessing and learning as you go and being able to be humble enough to apologize to your infant when you don’t get it right (and then your toddler, and then your kid, and then your teenager).

these next 18+ years are going to be an adventure, i can already tell. lots of mess-ups. lots of sorry’s. lots of goodness. 🤍

oh, and... can we all agree that the worst parenting advice is “sleep when the baby sleeps”?! as the lightest sleeper ever, i don’t need that pressure in my life. 😅 

photo by @jilliangoulding
the body of the grinch but the heart of cindy lou the body of the grinch but the heart of cindy lou who. ♥️

(wrong holiday, i know—but let’s not pretend 90% of us don’t already have christmas stuff up already okay?)

however you’re celebrating & whoever you’re celebrating with today, i hope it’s special. happy thanksgiving, friend! 🦃🍂💛 #thanksgiving #35weekspregnant
simple joys today: 🍂a pecan praline almond mil simple joys today:

🍂a pecan praline almond milk misto in the @starbucks holiday cup.
🍂early monday morning grocery run with my husband for simple thanksgiving ingredients for our 2-person party (well, 3 technically i guess 😜) on thursday.
🍂cool mornings.
🍂fall colors.
🍂the charlie brown christmas album on repeat. (i honestly think this is my favorite album of all time. 😂 we even got it on vinyl this year. i listen to it from end of october through january every single year.)
🍂random fall-y at-home manicures.
🍂2 short weeks in a row.
🍂phone calls with family.
🍂baby hiccups, kicks, and rolls & starting to distinguish between knees, hands, and a booty sticking out of my stomach. 😂
🍂sleeping in.
🍂finishing up home projects. (y’all, WE FINISHED THE FLOORS. praise.)
🍂a clean home.
🍂daily walks & clean air.
🍂soaking in the joy of our last childless vacation/staycation.

so much to be grateful for. and this year it’s really the little things that are the big things. what are your simple joys you’re hanging on to right now?
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