cozy Archives - Audrey JoAnn | Content and Copy Writer

I’m taking a sharp turn from last week’s far more intense topic of being a sometimes controlling a-hole to talk about something I’ve come to truly dislike. It’s also a sharp turn from a blog post on this exact topic I wrote about a year ago, when I was singing the praises of face tarantulas — um, I mean eyelash extensions.

Most of us have heard of eyelash extensions, and many of us have been tempted to give them a try (especially us millennials — glamorous, “low-maintenance” makeup is always appealing, right?). I know tons of people who are huge fans of lash extensions, and I get it. Right after you get them done, they are so gorgeous and perfect and really open up your eyes. But after a couple of go-rounds, I’m done.

I’ll take the three minutes in the morning to swipe on some mascara to my normal-length lashes and save the $1,300 per year for important things like shoes and ice cream, thank you very much. (This has been my mascara of choice for several years running.)

I USED TO LOVE THEM. This is obvious, since I was pretty gung-ho in that post last year and got a new set about a month-and-a-half ago. But since getting them a little while ago and having them touched up once, I’ve made the decision that they are 100-percent not for me.

I am a strong believer that Tuesday is the absolute worst day of the week. I promise it beats some people’s Sunday blues and Monday post-weekend depression. It’s just a pimple protruding obnoxiously in the middle of otherwise pretty flawless skin. (I really wish I could’ve came up with a better metaphor for that, but you know what? We’re going with it.)

Tuesday can suck it, and here’s why. Monday. You’re a little off-focus, but also a little relaxed and a lot rested up from a weekend of doing whatever you want (if you’re living right). It’s just an extension of Sunday, but you know, into the workweek. You’re more carefree at work, laughing in the break room with colleagues as you fill your fourth coffee mug of the morning. The smell of weekend’s freedom is still in the air; life is good.

The next blemish of a day we’ll skip for now, and we’re on to Wednesday. Hump day! Ah, I love a good hump day. You’ve made it halfway through. Even if you’re having a week from hell, you can tell yourself you’ve made it this far. Only a couple days till you’re home free! You’ll feel glorious, pumped up to finish out the week strong. And next up is Thursday.

Thursday is the day before Friday, which is essentially the weekend. You can see the light in the distance; the horizon is gleaming. You are pret-ty much at the end of the week. Everyone else at work is getting a little tired and antsy, too, so people are clocking out and heading to happy hour at 4:45, and so are you. If you stay up a little later than your usual bedtime on Thursday, who cares? Tomorrow is Friday, which means the next day is Saturday, and you’re about 36 hours from sleeping in as late as you’d like.

Only weekday left is Friday, and as we’ve covered briefly, Friday is the weekend, at least in my mind. I have an extra pep in my step and might splurge on an almond-milk latte on my way to work because alas! I’ve made it to the other side, and caffeine is always an acceptable way to celebrate. So the only day left we haven’t gone through is Tuesday, because Tuesday is gross. It doesn’t have any air of weekend clinging to it, and you can’t even tell yourself you’re almost done. Nope, you still have three honking days until a big, fat brunch on Saturday.

So, um, anyway. Have a nice Tuesday. I’d really rather be in (the best) sweats (ever) on my couch, so here’s to a day of dreaming about the other days.