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Audrey JoAnn | Content and Copy Writer

Compelling Copy for Female Founders

TOUGH STUFF

September 5, 2016

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I have no new Nashville photos to share and also just found these pictures I had from when I was a LiFeStYlE blogger extraordinaire that I never published. So! Enjoy this super-oversharing blog post with some old, lifestyle-y photos of me. Ooph, if this blog wasn’t already going downhill…

A while ago, shortly after arriving to Nashville in a 14-hour caravan from Dallas, I wrote about how overwhelmingly happy John and I were to be here and be moved in together. We were, and we are, but now several weeks in, the sparkly newness of it has dulled some. What I’m saying is, it’s not all rainbows and butterflies and Music City honky-tonks day in and day out over here. Duh.

There are tough parts about moving with your significant other to a brand new city, going from separate apartments to the same home, and settling into a different version of life from here on out. It is a bizarre experience, one that I am still sorting through and will be, I’m certain, for a while.

Not writing about this sorting-through period would be the easier choice, for sure, but I have been vocal about wanting to share both the highs and lows of this transitional period, and one thing I am not is a liar. There’s not a ton of preparation material out there for this situation, so it’s a lot of learn-as-you-go—my favorite…

Something I have certainly learned, and been smacked over the head with, during this transition is that John and I have different communication styles. Like, way different. You would think I’d have already known that from dating him for two years, which, in hindsight, I sort of did, but there’s a new level of daily interaction we now have by sharing a home.

I grew up super close with my mom and sister, so, as you can imagine, as three close female family members, we did a lot of in-depth talking about important life topics, asked questions, listened intently, and offered kind feedback and advice ever since I was a kid. This sort of intense, honed-in communication is what I’m used to and crave in any and all of my relationships (#needy), where as John is more stoic, thoughtful, and reserved in conversation. (This is what I get for going for the shy, good guy. JK love you, babe.)

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Before we lived together, we’d see each other a couple days a week and text the rest of the time, which was honestly way, way easier. In texting, I knew I had his full attention since it was a clear back-and-forth, written-out conversation. Now, we obviously see each other every morning and night and often in between, and with all the distractions of technology and busy schedules, sometimes I find myself repeating things more than once. Or, I’ll say something and he’ll have no response for me right away.

His lack of immediate response or support right after I tell him something, I’ve learned, makes me feel as though he’s not listening, which sends me into a tailspin, when, in fact, he’s usually just processing what I said and thinking about his response. See? Ve-ry different channels over here. (Although, sometimes he really is not listening, so, you know, we’re working on that.) Something that I think is a positive, though, is we are both super willing to talk through these sorts of differences; neither of us likes to sit on our feelings and stew.

Plus, I’m obviously no saint and have caught myself not listening well when he’s speaking or not offering very engaging feedback, either, so it definitely ain’t a one-way street.

I think, as far as new obstacles from living together, the communication thing is our biggest, which is hilarious, since I was certain my OCD about cleanliness would be the major fight waiting to happen. I must’ve prepped him enough before the move, though, because this guy is suddenly a pro at putting his dishes away and helping me with the house.

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Something else I’ve been struggling with, unrelated to my relationship, is not having a solid crew here in Nashville, or any crew for that matter. I live with John and our dog, Piper; I work for an amazingly sweet family watching their six-month-old during the week; I do freelance writing and editing work on a remote basis; and I have one close friend who lives here. My boyfriend, my dog, a baby, some email contacts, and one friend don’t exactly make for a killer happy hour group. I mean, I suppose they could, but that would be quite the motley mix.

It’s weird making friends as a post-grad adult. I still feel young and slightly cool (although writing this in a public space makes me feel less so), yet what’s a homebody, Netflix-loving, new-to-town gal to do to make a friend or two? Friends (who don’t live here) have suggested meetup.com, fitness classes, and friends of friends of friends who they’re “pretty sure live in Nashville,’’ and my mom would like for me to leave a note on every one of my neighbor’s doors inviting them to a game night.

First of all, a game night at our place would leave me with zero friends, and if you’ve ever played Scrabble or Hearts or any other game with John, you understand why. *cough* COMPETITIVE IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. *cough* Secondly, if I wouldn’t look like the creepiest neighbor on the block with that mass-invite and people actually came, then I’d be terrified THEY might be creepy for accepting an invite to game night from a random girl they’d never met. I would probably need to move. I watch too many scary movies for that anxiety. Do you see the dilemma here? I know I’ve lived here hardly a month, but it’s a struggle out there.

I think my next plan will be to simply hijack all of John’s and my one other friend’s friends and make them my own. See, guys? Moving is so fun!

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Top: Francesca’s // Jeans: Ann Taylor LOFT // Sandals: Steve Madden // Cross-body bag: Some random boutique last year and it has no brand tag on it. Sorry, y’all. Try Forever 21?

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1 Comment in Life

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4 THINGS I’VE REALIZED SINCE MOVING TO NASHVILLE »

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Comments

  1. Gramma Bonnie says

    September 6, 2016 at 11:42 am

    Your new plan is a good one, and will/can lead to new friends beyond the immediate! I admire your willingness to share and your openness! Love to you and John!!!

    Reply

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Welcome! I'm Audrey, and I adore connecting with female founders and telling their stories in a way that matters & lasts for years to come.

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audskelton

My two favorite guys in the world. 🤍🌎 My two favorite guys in the world. 🤍🌎
Me, trying to figure out what to do with my hands Me, trying to figure out what to do with my hands without a bump. 👐🏼 Wallace, trying to figure out what we’re doing out of the house. 🤨

First family walk in the books! All of 10 minutes. 🤪 (Also, does anyone else notice the rainbow over Wally?... My heart. 🌈🥺)
1 week old. 🤎 The hardest, most emotional & mos 1 week old. 🤎 The hardest, most emotional & most rewarding week of my life. Babies’ sleep schedules, y’all. They are not for the faint of heart.

Wallace is hitting all his milestones, has learned the alphabet, and is picking up Latin. Just kidding. But he CAN poop 3 times in an hour and a half 😎, and he eats like a champ, is so strong that we prefer to tag team diaper changes for now, and makes the sweetest, cutest noises all day long. (And night.) Like even his cry is cute. 😩

One of my friends called this time the “wet weeks”: urine, breast milk, spit up, night sweats, tears, blood, more tears. It’s a lot, and it’s temporary. So even in the hard moments, we are reminding ourselves that the hardest things are often the best things. 

And this really has been the best thing.

So, so thankful for a hands-on husband who’s been so involved in everything... there’s something indescribable about watching your partner care for your child and step into a big, new role like this so gracefully. And we are thankful for ALL of the support, near and far (... mostly far), from our family and friends and coworkers. What a week... here’s to continuing to figure it all out together as a family. 😌
At 5 a.m. my water broke and at 3:44 p.m. our worl At 5 a.m. my water broke and at 3:44 p.m. our worlds and hearts were changed forever. Everything in between was a gritty, fast-moving tidal wave of emotion, pain, instinct, and a kind of love I never could’ve imagined.

Welcome, Wallace Ronal Skelton. 🤎 You kept us waiting until you decided, very quickly, you’d like to be here. I’m still in disbelief that you are ours. 

January 4, 2021 • 7 lbs 4 oz • 20.5 inches • Sweet as can be.
Well, this baby friend doesn’t exactly have our Well, this baby friend doesn’t exactly have our sense of punctuality which realllly threw me for a loop after thinking & saying for months that I was certain he/she would get here early. I’ve drank 3 boxes of raspberry leaf tea in 3 weeks, walked dozens of miles, eaten way too many dates, done hundreds of squats and bench step-ups... and now I’m surrendering. You come whenever you feel like it, little one. I’m comfy enough and can still sleep through the night (minus a bathroom break or two) so we will just keep on waiting and letting you teach us our first lesson of parenthood: PATIENCE. I knew I could always use some more of it. 😉 #40weekspregnant #pregnancy
scenes from our blissful, muddy, much-needed morni scenes from our blissful, muddy, much-needed morning hike. ☀️🍂 in a year that’s felt like 5, getting outside whenever we can has been my favorite way to reset. so thankful to live in such gorgeous surroundings!
our first and probably only christmas just us thre our first and probably only christmas just us three! quiet and simple and a little sad but mostly filled with hope and gratitude. hope yours is special in all the best ways. 🤍
the most freeing parenting advice i’ve heard so the most freeing parenting advice i’ve heard so far? (and i’ve gotten a lot this year!) our children NEED to see us to mess up. they need to see us walk through mistakes, fix our messes, apologize, learn, and readjust.

as someone who very much realizes i’m nowhere *near* perfect but is also terrified something i’ll do might mess my kid up for life... hearing this advice has stuck with me so profoundly. i think about it every day, especially as we get closer and closer to becoming parents.

we don’t need to get it right. in fact, we’re serving them better when we get it wrong AND course correct openly. when we can admit our faults and say we’ll do better next time.

i had a friend tell me a few months ago she apologizes to her baby all the time. she’ll say, “i’m sorry that i really don’t know what you need right now, but i’m learning... i’m sorry that you’re upset, let’s figure this out together.”

and i thought that was a beautiful way to own and lean into the truth that parenting isn’t having the answers all figured out—at all. it’s guessing and learning as you go and being able to be humble enough to apologize to your infant when you don’t get it right (and then your toddler, and then your kid, and then your teenager).

these next 18+ years are going to be an adventure, i can already tell. lots of mess-ups. lots of sorry’s. lots of goodness. 🤍

oh, and... can we all agree that the worst parenting advice is “sleep when the baby sleeps”?! as the lightest sleeper ever, i don’t need that pressure in my life. 😅 

photo by @jilliangoulding
the body of the grinch but the heart of cindy lou the body of the grinch but the heart of cindy lou who. ♥️

(wrong holiday, i know—but let’s not pretend 90% of us don’t already have christmas stuff up already okay?)

however you’re celebrating & whoever you’re celebrating with today, i hope it’s special. happy thanksgiving, friend! 🦃🍂💛 #thanksgiving #35weekspregnant
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