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Audrey JoAnn | Content and Copy Writer

Compelling Copy for Female Founders

THE BEST HANGOVER

September 21, 2017

Yesterday, I woke up feeling groggy and tired, and those worn out feelings stayed with me throughout the day. My head felt thick and my eyes heavy, but I didn’t have anything to drink except water and La Croix the previous night. And I’m fairly positive they weren’t spiked.

I realized I had to be feeling the effects of the aptly named “vulnerability hangover,” a phrase I heard and loved for the first time at my small group I joined through church. I remember, when I was in high school, crying to my mom on many nights about some fight I was having with a girlfriend or some unresolved feeling of anger toward a family member. Every time, I would wake up the next morning drained, bashful, and embarrassed that I had caused such a stink about whatever problem I was facing.

Even though I probably needed to hash out all my emotions in that way, it always felt overwhelming the next day. I didn’t know the feeling yet, thankfully, but it was pretty close to the emotional and physical symptoms of a hangover. You know that achey and awful beat-up feeling after a night of over-indulging, that hangover.

But I didn’t realize what a good thing it was — this other kind of hangover, at least, not the booze-induced one. When I woke up yesterday feeling this way — sort of fatigued and uncertain if I had said the right things the night before — I started thinking more about it.

Tuesday nights are reserved for the small group I mentioned, and I’ve been going to these group meetings for four weeks now. About 15 women are in the group, and we’re reading “Uninvited” by Lysa TerKeurst together and discussing a couple of chapters week by week. The book is about how we bring past rejections and hurts into present relationships and everyday interactions, and oftentimes we let those rejections start to define us, instead of letting God’s limitless love for us define us.

Pretty light and fluffy stuff, right? Yeah, not exactly — especially for a group where most of us were strangers before meeting a few weeks ago, and here we are jumping into discussions about our most painful rejections and most difficult obstacles. Good times, y’all.

With a group our size and with the subject matter being what it is, I have been quiet most meetings, or shaky-voiced and apprehensive when I have briefly spoken up. I’m one of those people who can watch the saddest of movies or offer advice while listening to someone else’s heartaches and not shed a tear, but as soon as I’m put into a position of vulnerability about my own issues, holy smokes, someone get the whole dang tissue box because this girl can (and will) CRY.

So, I’ve stayed pretty quiet, but I didn’t necessarily want to be quiet. I felt afraid of breaking open the waterworks, or saying the wrong thing, or saying something stupid. As a side note, this is also why I’m terrified of public speaking. I don’t WANT to have all eyes and attention on me… but sometimes I have an anecdote or point I would like to add… but if everyone would just not look at me and fully analyze my every word, that would be great, too.

I hate this waffle-y back and forth of wanting to speak up but being too afraid to speak up. On Tuesday, with that in mind as I drove to small group, I said a quick prayer asking to find the courage to jump in and be open if something was on my heart to share. I wasn’t in the best mood and didn’t feel like my energy was at it’s highest, but as soon as I said that prayer aloud in my car, I felt lifted, somehow.

And when I got inside and our group leader asked us to start with our high and low points of the week, I couldn’t think of anything for my low, other than this pretty serious family issue going on that I never would have shared a week ago. I took a deep breath and told these women I hardly know how I’m struggling with figuring out how to strike a balance between loving my family fully but also creating certain strict boundaries with some of them to protect myself. (My high was that John and I started and have been binge-watching Game of Thrones and it’s SO. GOOD.)

My stomach was in knots as I shared, but immediately after I finished talking, several of the girls jumped in with words of encouragement and love and appreciation that I had shared. What?! They didn’t think what I said was dumb or unwarranted? The hilarious part is that I get so, so scared and worked up to share in this group (or any group of more than two people), while the content of the book we’re reading has very much to do with not creating stories about what others may be thinking and assigning thoughts to them that usually are not accurate. It’s about giving others the benefit of the doubt, and ourselves, as well. Yeah, working on that…

Throughout the rest of the gathering, I felt more inclined and empowered to share my experiences and vocally comfort and empathize with other women because of certain similarities in my background, experiences that suddenly weren’t so terrifying to talk about. With all that heavy lifting of emotional baggage comes a draining of energy of sorts. On the one hand, I felt so full and connected after leaving the group that night. I felt like I want to have these open and vulnerable conversations with more people in my life and connect on this level with those that I love more often. On the other hand, it’s exhausting bearing your deepest fears and concerns! So, I woke up the next day with a “hangover,” and that’s okay.

Once I realized the reason for my ebbed energy yesterday, I just allowed myself to be there and to recuperate. I slowed down in my work and took time to rest, which is kind of unheard of for any given Wednesday in my world. I didn’t beat myself up and pick apart every little conversation from the night before, because I didn’t need to. Not everything we contribute in life will be perfectly articulated, but I’m realizing that’s not the point of vulnerability. It’s more about getting your hands dirty, doing the hard work on yourself and with others of picking through the gunk that builds up in our lives. I suppose the point of all this is to say that a hangover is a good thing every once in a while — either kind, but especially the vulnerability kind.

(Also, to bring it back to Game of Thrones real quick, I’m simultaneously really trying to channel my inner Khaleesi, because that girl is a badass. And a great public speaker. Just sayin’.)

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4 Comments in Life

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Comments

  1. Julie Brown says

    September 21, 2017 at 3:17 pm

    {} Love this…

    Reply
    • audrey swanson says

      September 28, 2017 at 9:11 am

      Thanks, mom 🙂

      Reply
  2. susannah hutcheson says

    September 21, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    so, so glad you’re writing again! the bestttttt

    Reply
    • audrey swanson says

      September 28, 2017 at 9:11 am

      Ah, thank youuuu. It feels good.

      Reply

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Welcome! I'm Audrey, and I adore connecting with female founders and telling their stories in a way that matters & lasts for years to come.

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audskelton

I used to hardcore resist SEO in my writing work. I used to hardcore resist SEO in my writing work. 😂 It felt formal and stuffy and forced, so I just sorta... ignored it. 

As someone who appreciates copywriting for the creative and storytelling sides of it, I have struggled with some of the technical pieces like search engine optimization. 🥴

But... my clients wanted SEO, and truthfully I know it *is* important, even if ~cReAtIvE writer Audrey~ wanted to pretend it wasn’t a thing.

I began paying more attention to how to do it in a non-icky manner and sort of backed into this simple method for incorporating SEO best practices in blog posts in a way that is natural (aka, doesn’t read like a robot wrote it). Here’s what I do!

• Google your topic/headline. It will help you find the most appropriate keyword to focus on in your post. Say the topic you want to write about is “how to get your newborn to sleep.” 🙃 Type it into Google, and see what kinds of content comes up on the first page.
• Pay attention to which keywords are repeated. For this one, “newborn sleep tips,” “baby sleep tips,” and “how to get your newborn to sleep” are all keywords used in multiple headlines. Also pay attention to the “People also search for” and “Related searches” lists that Google provides because those are keyword goldmines. 
• Pick ONE of these phrases to use as your main SEO keyword (and try to weave in a few of the other phrases throughout the post, but don’t worry too much about those other ones... it’s better to have one focused keyword). Make sure you choose one that you can organically use a few times in the blog post. (So not something like “best restaurants near me 2021”... that keyword stinks and will read like you’re trying to rank).
• Use the keyword you chose in your headline, 1st paragraph of the post, and at least one H2 or H3. It should be in the blog post at least 3-4 times. The best places are the intro paragraph, 1st header, and last paragraph. And aaaaalways the headline!!!
• Include the keyword in a meta description (or the summary Google will pull underneath your blog post’s headline).
• Finally, make sure the content is actually interesting. Because SEO doesn’t mean a dang thing if the content sucks. 🥵
Motherhood is the only time I’ve worked hard at Motherhood is the only time I’ve worked hard at something every day but haven’t been able to problem solve or research my way into feeling very much better at it.

I know what you’re thinking. It’s only been 6 weeks! You have a *lifetime* to keep learning. I KNOW. It’s ridiculous but this is how my brain works.

And some days I just thank God over and over for a beautiful and healthy and good baby. Like, I still can’t believe he’s real. Then... there are times I just need a quick sob on the floor (😂😅) because he won’t nap longer than 20 minutes. It’s a real ride, over here. 

Most days I’m in leggings and the only thing on my face is coconut oil. I usually don’t get to brush my teeth until 10 a.m. or later. I want to cry every time he cries and I can’t figure out why.

It’s this constant mix of feeling unproductive because I’m literally not producing or accomplishing anything most days, let alone getting dressed (a la this photo), and feeling the most productive I’ve ever been because... I’m keeping this tiny being alive! (Using my boobs! That is insane, no? Why don’t we talk about this??)

Anyway. That’s the end of my jumbled rant on 6 weeks of parenthood that no one asked for. 😂 I just hope Wally knows how infinitely loved he is, always and forever. Even when I can’t figure out if it’s witching hour or sleepy cues or just gas.
Little valentine, thank you for being mine. ♥️ Little valentine, thank you for being mine. ♥️

#valentinesday #valentinesbaby #6weeksold #babyboy #boymom #valentine #babyoutfit
Me every day since becoming a mama = 🥺🥲🥰 Me every day since becoming a mama = 🥺🥲🥰 

Never knew I had a maternal bone in my body, yet here we are. I’m just... obsessed with him? Neck rolls and all. 🤎
It’s the hands and the half smile for me. 🤗 It’s the hands and the half smile for me. 🤗

One month old tomorrow and I *can’t* believe it! 🎉 He’s the sweetest babe, loves bath time, sleeps in 3.5-5 hour stretches at night (for now...), responds to smiles, and is already here for a good book, much to both of his parents’ satisfaction! We love you, Wallace. 🤎
Who do you think was more excited about this day t Who do you think was more excited about this day trip out to the coast... us or Wallace? 😅😂 I love them. Also, I can’t get over the burp cloth on John’s shoulder. Ya know, just in case. #newparentlife
One hour, just us two in our backyard with a big c One hour, just us two in our backyard with a big charcuterie board, a deck of cards, a couple glasses of rosé, and no baby monitor. 🤎

The first week of Wallace’s life? I ached even being in another room from him (#hormones). I was a wreck of emotions and had legitimate baby tunnel vision... preeeetty much nothing else mattered. But things have been balancing out this past week, and today was so needed.

My mom is in town all month and watched Wally for us so we could have some time just us two—yep, in the backyard because of shelter in place restrictions from COVID. (Plus let’s be real... I’m not quite ready for an out-of-the-house date yet anyway. 😂)

As much as I desire to be a present + loving mama and ambitious business owner, it’s just as important to me to prioritize our marriage with little moments like this to just be in each other’s presence (and not just talk about burping and swaddling and bedtime routines, like most of our recent convos).

Here’s to (almost) 2 weeks of being parents, @the_beermonger. I think we’ll do okay.
My two favorite guys in the world. 🤍🌎 My two favorite guys in the world. 🤍🌎
Me, trying to figure out what to do with my hands Me, trying to figure out what to do with my hands without a bump. 👐🏼 Wallace, trying to figure out what we’re doing out of the house. 🤨

First family walk in the books! All of 10 minutes. 🤪 (Also, does anyone else notice the rainbow over Wally?... My heart. 🌈🥺)
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