Audrey JoAnn - Page 2 of 28 - Writer ● Adventurer ● Storyteller

EVERYONE HAS TO SETTLE — TO SOME EXTENT

September 6, 2018

I remember in high school, my friends and I made these long, detailed lists of all the things we wanted in our future boyfriends. (Were we losers? Probably.) Some of the more low-key adjectives included honest, athletic, tall, funny, smart, blue eyes, musical, educated, talkative, supportive, well-read, interested in the same hobbies as me, loves his family but not a mama’s boy, sweet but not clingy, and pisses gold, basically. We were just some seriously low-maintenance gals describing a fictional being.

There are plenty of incredible, talented, kind men out there, but I promise there is not one, who isn’t Jesus himself, who fits our long lists of must-haves. And guess what? I don’t fit the female version of this list of qualities that make up the perfect partner, either.

I can be jealous and passive aggressive while my hair and makeup looks like Beyonce’s, or I can be compassionate and a good listener even though I haven’t washed my hair in four days and have five pimples. None of us are constant; none of us bring the same strengths and wins every day. And what a relief! I would not want the pressure of perfection day in and out.

PREMARITAL THERAPY IS A CRUCIAL PART OF WEDDING PLANNING

August 31, 2018

I don’t think it’s a secret that I like to talk about my feelings. This whole site is basically a portal dedicated to my feelings. Have you noticed? (I’m pretty sure the toddler I used to nanny who can’t read and can hardly talk has noticed.)

When we started premarital therapy a few weeks ago, I figured it would be a fun time to talk about our feelings and dig into why we are the way that we are. GOOD TIMES! On the surface, that’s what it is, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy, and it certainly isn’t always fun…so I’ve learned. Digging requires muscles we don’t often flex, and it causes blisters to form and pop. It’s uncomfortable and tiresome and reveals weaknesses you didn’t realize you had.

Of course, that wasn’t going to be my experience, though. I went into therapy knowing, not just thinking, that I was a communication-savvy queen. After all, I will let you know EVERY time I am upset. Communication! I will tell you every last feeling and emotion from my day. Savvy! John’s okay, too; I mean, maybe he could learn a thing or two from our therapist, but me? I’ve got this partnering thing down.

Uh huh.

HOW TO SET SMALL GOALS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

August 23, 2018

Is it just me, or can setting ambitious goals feel unattainable or unrealistic at times? Especially those big-picture, long-term goals. Sure, yeah, in 10 years I’d love to own a house in the country and have a couple books published and have a few more figures in the bank and maybe have a mountain home for long weekends and holidays. That’s easy to visualize and dream about all day long, but how in the world do you actually get there?

I believe the key is starting small — like minuscule, the teeniest of tiny — and then building and stacking from there. This realization came to me as all the best ones do: accidentally. It started with flossing.

WHY I QUIT TRAINING FOR A MARATHON

August 16, 2018

I tend to have this cycle where I get really excited about something, decide to pursue it all out, invest a lot of time in it (and, sometimes, a lot of money), but then I eventually get discouraged by not being the best or as good as others or as fully committed as I once was — and then my interest slowly diminishes until I finally drop it. Whether it’s launching a new blog (this site is probably my 10th rendition of some form of blog in the past eight years), trying a new style of workout class, starting to write a book (yeah, I bet I’ve started close to 10 of these, too). Have you been guilty of falling into this cycle ever?

This has happened so many times in my life that I’m now aware of myself entering the cycle of love-pursue-dwindle when I become obsessed with a new big plan or idea, and I get fearful of when, not if, I’ll get over it. I suppose it can be a good thing to dream up interesting and novel pursuits for myself, but the fizzling out part, over and over, is the problem.

It always reminds me of the quote, “Learn to rest, not quit,” which is a good cue to whisper when I’m feeling the itch to get out of things I really do want. But, recently, I had to quit training for a marathon I planned on running in September for reasons other than I wasn’t doing good enough or I got bored with it. It was none of that. Sure, it was freaking hard and I was never a natural at it, but that’s not why I ended up stopping.