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Audrey JoAnn | Content and Copy Writer

Compelling Copy for Female Founders

“BEFORE WE KEEP GOING, I WANTED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION”

January 22, 2018

It’s taken me a while to sit down and write out this story. Not because I haven’t wanted to, and not because I didn’t know what to say. But I wanted to do this moment justice and treat it with care. It was a moment that, for a long time, I didn’t think would happen. I told myself I didn’t want it to happen. And I told anyone with two ears the same thing. I was on a mission to let the world know that I was extra-special in my independence and utter defiance of the idea of marriage.

But the truth was, I didn’t want to chance going through what my parents went through. I didn’t want a relationship that might look great but silently crumbles apart in ways that are inexplicable and heartbreaking. I didn’t want the option of committing my whole life to someone else, and then dealing with the chance that I could be betrayed, devastated, or left.

That was scary, so for a long time, I was fiercely and obnoxiously independent. I didn’t want to lean on anyone else for help, success, or happiness. I made my own way. All of that worked out alright for me during those years; I did grow into myself and discover my values, likes, dislikes, and what I want out of life. And honestly, I still don’t think marriage is for everybody, as long as that choice is made out of pure intentions, and not fear.

My relationship with John has been different from the start than any other that I’ve experienced. He courted me, he respected me, he was honest and upfront every step of the way. He’s open to constructive feedback and also loves to learn as much as he can about the world, history, everything really. I mean, the guy took not one, but TWO spreadsheets classes in grad school because he enjoys learning about Excel that much. I joke that he’s an 80-year-old in a 28-year-old’s body. (He knows it’s true.) He is analytical and logical, while also sensitive and kind. He loves animals and spicy food.

Through our relationship, I’ve found a whole different side to myself that has allowed me to set down some of those walls I’d firmly built in the years leading up to it. It’s still hard for me to be vulnerable (passive aggression is my much stronger suit, unfortunately), and I’m working on being better at voicing kind words, showing appreciation, and allowing guidance or suggestion instead of always thinking my way is the best way… Even if it is most of the time. 😉

But I adore the support, comfort, and partnership of our relationship, and I have learned I’m still able to embrace my own autonomy within this two-person unit. We’re two totally different personalities choosing to love and encourage one another every day. I just feel at home with him.

How It Went Down

Okay, enough rambling. You’re probably here for the actual proposal story, so let’s get to it.

In November, John and I found ourselves planning a somewhat spontaneous Thanksgiving trip to our favorite mountain town, Asheville, North Carolina. Clearly unconcerned with the concept of overkill, we were excited to take our third trip there — in less than a year. We planned on visiting his family over Christmas and mine in early December, so instead of spending Thanksgiving at our home, where I’d be less inclined to chill, relax, and enjoy the holiday break and more likely to be cleaning and making to-do lists, we figured a road trip to a familiar town full of breweries, hiking opps, and sweet, quiet charm would be the better idea.

So, we booked a pet-friendly Airbnb and loaded the car with our pup, new hiking boots (our early Christmas gift to each other), and a cooler of some pre-cooked Thanksgiving dishes for an extra-long weekend in the Smoky Mountains.

Our first full day there was Thanksgiving, and we started the day by throwing Piper in the car, bundling up, and lacing up our new boots for a five-mile hike on a trail called Black Balsam Knob, about a 45-minute drive up the Blue Ridge Parkway from our rental home. I thought it would be a good way to get some exercise, while taking in the scenery, before we participated in the gluttony of the holiday. John had another plan in mind.

If you’ve never been to the Smokies, I can’t recommend it enough. Even in the cold, with winter’s effects creeping in, it’s stunning. We wound our way through the steep hills, driving through tunnels and along tree-lined cliffs, as the leaves turned from orange-red and yellow to copper to brown the higher we went. Once we got to the trail, even the bare trees in that high altitude were a beautiful, almost-architectural accent to the blueish-gray layers of mountains as far as we could see. I just love it there.

John had been quiet that morning as we got ready to head up. We layered on jackets, scarves, beanies, and gloves, and brewed a French press of coffee to take on the road. He’s not quite as much of a morning person as I am, and definitely not as much of a talker, so his quietness wasn’t crazy unusual. I thought maybe he was missing and thinking about his family on the holiday, or something like that, so I did my regular thing: got us out the door as fast as possible (I had mimosas and mashed potatoes to get home to!), belted country and worship songs on the drive up, and laughed at all my own jokes… As you can tell, I was a huge comfort and most definitely not at ALL a nuisance for sweet, anxious-as-heck John.

The hike started with a dense half-mile-or-so of trees, before opening up to bare, easy rolling hills (those are the “knob” part of Black Balsam Knob) that allowed you to see views of the Smokies for miles and miles without trees to block your surroundings. Atop our first hill, with a sprawling view of the mountainscape around us, John wanted to stop. He kept saying we should get Piper some water and he wanted to rest. Me, being the very me that I am, wanted to keep going. She’s fine, I told him, as I reminded him more than once that we weren’t even a mile into the five-mile hike, so we’d better get a move on.

Ugh. This gal sure knows how to ruin a moment. But, looking back, it is really hilarious because I am so very go-go-go (can you tell?), and John is so very stop-and-smell-the-roses, and our juxtaposition in this life approach brings us a lot of laughter, eye rolls, challenge, and growth both individually and as a couple. So, I think in hindsight, it was kind of perfect that this came out in this life-shifting moment. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.

As I reluctantly began to take in the breathtaking vision of God’s handiwork in front of me (it truly was incredible), Piper was to my left, having the time of her life wrestling a stick, and John was behind me fishing through his backpack to get the water none of us needed yet. Or, what I thought was water. I turned around right when he pulled his hand out of the backpack holding a small, black box that, in fact, looked nothing like a water bottle.

It took about two-and-a-half seconds to register what was happening, and then my heart about flew out of my ears. (I’m not really sure how else to describe the physical response my emotions created in the moment, but that about does it.) He said, “Before we keep going, I wanted to ask you a question. Will you marry me?” The man doesn’t mince his words.

My dorky response was, “Oh my gosh! Yes! What the heck?” And that’s how it’s done, folks. We were engaged.

He handed over the box and it hit me that he was so nervous. He wasn’t just being quiet John that morning; he was about to ask me the biggest question of our lives. THINK I’D BE QUIET, TOO.

Turns out, that hill was the best and most beautiful vantage point we would hit during those five miles. Good call on John’s part to stop for “water” so early in.

Not the worst view for committing your life to someone.

Engagement photos by Jessica Steddom.

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6 Comments in Life

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Comments

  1. Gramma says

    January 22, 2018 at 2:26 pm

    Beautiful!

    Reply
  2. Julie says

    January 23, 2018 at 7:50 am

    Soooo proud of you and your ability to see/feel/hear/know that Gods plan for the two of you is much bigger, deeper, and stronger than any wall that could be built! I love you and John and can’t wait to see what He does to continue to live through you both to create a beautiful life of love and hope and wonder!! xoxo Mom

    Reply
  3. Kelsey says

    January 26, 2018 at 8:18 am

    Ahhh so cute!! 💑🐶💕

    Reply
    • audrey swanson says

      June 25, 2018 at 10:11 am

      Thanks sis!!

      Reply
  4. Diana R says

    April 12, 2018 at 11:26 pm

    Incredible story telling Audrey! I feel like i just got engaged reading it!! I love that this is in writing somewhere for you and the rest of us to relive ❤️

    Reply
    • audrey swanson says

      June 25, 2018 at 10:10 am

      Thank you thank you, my friend!

      Reply

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Welcome! I'm Audrey, and I adore connecting with female founders and telling their stories in a way that matters & lasts for years to come.

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audskelton

My two favorite guys in the world. 🤍🌎 My two favorite guys in the world. 🤍🌎
Me, trying to figure out what to do with my hands Me, trying to figure out what to do with my hands without a bump. 👐🏼 Wallace, trying to figure out what we’re doing out of the house. 🤨

First family walk in the books! All of 10 minutes. 🤪 (Also, does anyone else notice the rainbow over Wally?... My heart. 🌈🥺)
1 week old. 🤎 The hardest, most emotional & mos 1 week old. 🤎 The hardest, most emotional & most rewarding week of my life. Babies’ sleep schedules, y’all. They are not for the faint of heart.

Wallace is hitting all his milestones, has learned the alphabet, and is picking up Latin. Just kidding. But he CAN poop 3 times in an hour and a half 😎, and he eats like a champ, is so strong that we prefer to tag team diaper changes for now, and makes the sweetest, cutest noises all day long. (And night.) Like even his cry is cute. 😩

One of my friends called this time the “wet weeks”: urine, breast milk, spit up, night sweats, tears, blood, more tears. It’s a lot, and it’s temporary. So even in the hard moments, we are reminding ourselves that the hardest things are often the best things. 

And this really has been the best thing.

So, so thankful for a hands-on husband who’s been so involved in everything... there’s something indescribable about watching your partner care for your child and step into a big, new role like this so gracefully. And we are thankful for ALL of the support, near and far (... mostly far), from our family and friends and coworkers. What a week... here’s to continuing to figure it all out together as a family. 😌
At 5 a.m. my water broke and at 3:44 p.m. our worl At 5 a.m. my water broke and at 3:44 p.m. our worlds and hearts were changed forever. Everything in between was a gritty, fast-moving tidal wave of emotion, pain, instinct, and a kind of love I never could’ve imagined.

Welcome, Wallace Ronal Skelton. 🤎 You kept us waiting until you decided, very quickly, you’d like to be here. I’m still in disbelief that you are ours. 

January 4, 2021 • 7 lbs 4 oz • 20.5 inches • Sweet as can be.
Well, this baby friend doesn’t exactly have our Well, this baby friend doesn’t exactly have our sense of punctuality which realllly threw me for a loop after thinking & saying for months that I was certain he/she would get here early. I’ve drank 3 boxes of raspberry leaf tea in 3 weeks, walked dozens of miles, eaten way too many dates, done hundreds of squats and bench step-ups... and now I’m surrendering. You come whenever you feel like it, little one. I’m comfy enough and can still sleep through the night (minus a bathroom break or two) so we will just keep on waiting and letting you teach us our first lesson of parenthood: PATIENCE. I knew I could always use some more of it. 😉 #40weekspregnant #pregnancy
scenes from our blissful, muddy, much-needed morni scenes from our blissful, muddy, much-needed morning hike. ☀️🍂 in a year that’s felt like 5, getting outside whenever we can has been my favorite way to reset. so thankful to live in such gorgeous surroundings!
our first and probably only christmas just us thre our first and probably only christmas just us three! quiet and simple and a little sad but mostly filled with hope and gratitude. hope yours is special in all the best ways. 🤍
the most freeing parenting advice i’ve heard so the most freeing parenting advice i’ve heard so far? (and i’ve gotten a lot this year!) our children NEED to see us to mess up. they need to see us walk through mistakes, fix our messes, apologize, learn, and readjust.

as someone who very much realizes i’m nowhere *near* perfect but is also terrified something i’ll do might mess my kid up for life... hearing this advice has stuck with me so profoundly. i think about it every day, especially as we get closer and closer to becoming parents.

we don’t need to get it right. in fact, we’re serving them better when we get it wrong AND course correct openly. when we can admit our faults and say we’ll do better next time.

i had a friend tell me a few months ago she apologizes to her baby all the time. she’ll say, “i’m sorry that i really don’t know what you need right now, but i’m learning... i’m sorry that you’re upset, let’s figure this out together.”

and i thought that was a beautiful way to own and lean into the truth that parenting isn’t having the answers all figured out—at all. it’s guessing and learning as you go and being able to be humble enough to apologize to your infant when you don’t get it right (and then your toddler, and then your kid, and then your teenager).

these next 18+ years are going to be an adventure, i can already tell. lots of mess-ups. lots of sorry’s. lots of goodness. 🤍

oh, and... can we all agree that the worst parenting advice is “sleep when the baby sleeps”?! as the lightest sleeper ever, i don’t need that pressure in my life. 😅 

photo by @jilliangoulding
the body of the grinch but the heart of cindy lou the body of the grinch but the heart of cindy lou who. ♥️

(wrong holiday, i know—but let’s not pretend 90% of us don’t already have christmas stuff up already okay?)

however you’re celebrating & whoever you’re celebrating with today, i hope it’s special. happy thanksgiving, friend! 🦃🍂💛 #thanksgiving #35weekspregnant
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